Hurple Hoopla

Thursday, November 17, 2005

Diary Entry

Here's something I slogged out during an afternoon of boredom. Enjoy!

From the diary of Bradford Barroe:

March 14, 2005 - We have finally realized what that annoying splotch on the radar screen is. What it is not is where someone spilt his lunch, as I speculated earlier, but is, in fact, an alien spacecraft. The discovery took everyone by surprise. No one in the office even suspected the truth when the thing appeared on the screen two weeks ago. It was Johnson's idea that we borrow a telescope from the lab and go to the roof to see if there was really something there. Too bad no one thought of the idea earlier, we could have saved the taxpayers a great deal of money for windex.

March 16, 2005 - Today we began trying to contact the beings in the spacecraft. The computers did not work. Nor did radio, the telephone, or television. The brownies we sent through the mail apparently never got there. We also never received a reply to the note we tied to the helium balloon. The smoke signals suggested by Rosario was a dumb idea anyway. The fax machine, however, worked. We expect a reply as soon as we pay our phone bill.

March 20, 2005 - The reply to our message came today. It stated: "We ain't here." Apparently the being in the spacecraft are highly intelligent. Discussions begin tomorrow as to the meaning of the message.

March 24, 2005 - Someone should have explained to Johnson that sending a cat through a fax machine would not work. We now have no way to further contact the aliens.

March 30, 2005 - As soon as we fixed the fax machine we received another message from the aliens. Someone should have told them that it did not work when we tried to fax the cat to them. It did, however, make an interesting pattern on the paper.

March 31, 2005 - It appears that the brownies made it to the aliens after all. We received a note in the mail today. It stated: "You may already have made friends with beings from another planet." These aliens must be far more intelligent than we have yet imagined.

April 2, 2005 - Auditions were held today for the new Verizon Wireless spokesperson. I didn't get the part.


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